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clannyphantom:

"oh good you’re awake. can you clean your room and then help me do-"

image

(via butteredpeanuts)

grandma:DO YOU WANT AN APPLE
me:no thanks grandma
grandma:HERES YOUR APPLE

kirstielovesart:

thevirginharry:

remember swine flu reblog if ur a tru 2009 kid

People were practically drinking hand sanitizer during that shit

(via go-ahead-and-pull-the-trigger)

Reblog if you have seen Divergent and thought it was a great movie!!

(Source: davidzorkboy)

elusivebm:

mom: why are you failing all your classes

me: the tests never work on me

me: they call it….

me: divergent.

rneerkat:

"youve got male!" the computer beeps. you turn around and see that out of nowhere a brand new boyfriend has appeared. computers truly are quite amazing

(via stay-strong-my-lovely)

detainable:

my life is kind of like when you’re about to sneeze and then don’t

(Source: responds, via forever)

katalystofawesome:

kittypunches:

If you knock on my door and I say “yeah” it doesn’t mean “Come on in!” it means “stay where you are and state your business.”

THANK

(via sexsheeranstyles)

dirkstr8der:

the-winchester-initiative:

cryonetics:

snorlaxatives:

*sexually strokes wall until finding light switch*

What a turn on.

Get out.

why does everyone say get out when somebody makes a pun dont get out get in here and make more puns

(Source: snorlaxatives, via sexsheeranstyles)

poutyowl:

i am perfectly fine with having other people sit on my lap but i can’t sit on other people’s laps because i’m always paranoid that i’d crush them and they’d diE

(Source: crystallizedclarity, via sexsheeranstyles)

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